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 Emperor Palpatine's Blog Minimize

Enough of this Political Correctness!

I've had it up to here with the Senate and their constant whining about diversity and tolerance for a multi-cultural universe. It's time to purify this galaxy. The Jedi were once proud, pure humans, but the last few centuries they've been letting other species in. Heck, I don't even know what a Yoda is, but in 800 years he never even learned to speak proper English like the rest of this large galaxy. That's almost as bad as the droids and wookies who want us to learn their language but won't spend a few hours in an online course to learn a few  phrases of ours.

I say enough, the Humans are reclaiming our rightful place in the Universe starting today! Droids will not replace us!  We all know it's right, that's why no one complained when the Storm troopers were all human. Heck at first they were so pure they were clones. We all know purity gave strength and it sure did bring order. Diversity is for the weak. Whenever I hear the words "other cultures"  I reach for my Death Star. Even the rebels are 99% human. If they got rid of that 1% that's holding them back they might have a chance. What are they gonna do, throw teddy bears at my massive, pure fleet?

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 Kylo Ren Minimize

Finally someone who tells it like it is. You're just sayin' what were all thinking. Enough of this political correctness. My First Order will continue your legacy. Snoke had to go be cause his alien mind was befuddled with insane ideas. (What the hell species was he anyway?) We're gonna make the galaxy great again. My troops are all pure humans. One woman, but just to keep the feminists off my back until we're more secure in our power. No woman could stand up to me boy howdy. And we're gonna say "May the Force be with you" again. You're welcome.

  

 Chancellor Gowron Minimize

Purity is good, even the Federation knows it. They talk about "multi-culturalism" but their ships are all named after earth history and the crews are 90% human, more at the command level. There's a reason the Ferengi word for Federation is Hew-man, the Q only judge them based on Earth history and the Andorians call them pink-skin, which says alot about their lack of diversity, even within that species you see mostly light skinned ones. If even the Feds know diversity is bad, the resf of us sure aren't wasting our time with it. Did we land on Khitomer, or did Khitomer land on us!

  

 Borg Queen Minimize

Finally you all are starting to realize what we've been saying all along. Diversity is weakness, get rid of all cultures and assimilate to one dominant, monolithic one. It's just better for everyone.Too much diversity and next thing you know predators won't eat cute flightless birds because the cute flightless birds might FEEL BAD!  WE will make the galaxy great again.

  

 Kylo Ren Minimize

I agree, it's time to quit respecting anyone who's different. Time to let them know their place. And we're gonna farm moisture again! Take that you bunch of Hoth snowflakes. (Get it, Hoth snowflakes, cause they can't take any heat at all? I'm really clever to come up with that. You all should use it in your online posts. You're welcome.)

  

 Nelson Minimize

Yeah, and if anyone looks different or acts different, you just punch em' Pow!

  

 Emperor Palpatine Minimize

Very good my young Padawan, you have summed up our philosophy succinctly, if not locquaciously. They called us space racists, they said we were intolerant and needed to be dragged kicking and screaming into the century of the fruitbat. They let aliens inhabit every planet in the galaxy. Well now were fighting back with the Death Star of truth! We won't be victims any more. Once we get rid of this pesky "democracy" we will truly make the galaxy great again.!

  

 Emperor Palpatine Minimize

Age: Who can tell anymore?

Into: Women, if there were any in this universe. Sheesh, most planets in this galaxy are just one big sausage fest.

Status: Single but totally not gay, really. Really, really not gay. Shooting lightning from your fingers while cackling like the Wicked Witch of the West is totally butch in this universe.

School: Coruscant Technical University

Degree: Climatology. Seriously. It was an easy major considering most planets only have one. Did a lot of bong hits and not much studying. The Dark side is sooo much easier than the Jedi academy.

Goals: Absolute power. After that, maybe retire and open up a little B&B on Christophsis


  

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