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Beware of Cootie Shots!

There's always been cooties on the playground, it's something we have to live with. But lately we're seeing a more dangerous trend - Cootie Shots!
These so called "Cootie shots" are nothing but another vaccination program by big pharma.

I researched this on the internet, and there's alot of information the grownups don't want you to know. Cootie shots are linked to sissyism, bullyism, dorkism, loserism, and getting picked last for teams.


Don't line up like kindergarteners for this fraud. Cootie shots have been shown to actually give you cooties. There was this kid over at Jefferson elementary, and he was just fine, then he lined up for his cootie shot and the next day - Cooties!  Another kid at Roosevelt made a funny face when he got his shot, and it stayed that way - forever! The grownups and big pharma won't admit the truth. If they're wrong about this, they could be wrong about anything. Don't believe the lies!

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 Casper Minimize

It's all true, I died from a cootie shot!

  

 Fat Albert Minimize

It's all true. I just read an article that all the type 2 diabetes in our school is actually caused by cootie shots. So don't listen to the food police tell you what you can and can't eat, take back your freedom!

  

 Richie Rich Minimize

I know for a fact that cooties were brought over the border by Dora the Explorer. Her kind just come here to hold hands with good American kids. They're Hand Holders! Build a wall!

  

 Doc Mcstuffins Minimize

There is absolutely no scientific validity to this theory. I have tracked every cootie outbreak on this playground since Kindergarten in my Big Book of Boo Boos. The incidence of cooties has declined greatly since we introduced vaccinations. Cootie shots are safe, and effective. The one study linking cootie shots to being picked last for teams has been totally discredited and was made up by a bully who wanted to win the dodgeball tournament.

  

 Peppermint Patty Minimize

That's just the kind of lies Western medicine has been peddling to us since we were born. Go to the doctor, take your medicine, sleep on your back, eat your vegetables, brush your teeth. It's all the lies of a big grownup controlled conspiracy to make us dependent on them.  Stick to the ancient cures of our people - pop rocks and soda pop.

  

 Charlie Brown Minimize

Age: ???

Education: The Schoolyard

Relationship status: It's complicated

Currently listening to: Linus and Lucy

Goals: Kick that football, just once

  

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