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Wednesday, April 23, 2014 ..:: Miscellaneous » How to Sell Cigarettes to Pregnant Women ::..   Login
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 How to Sell Cigarettes to Pregnant Women Minimize

Facing declining sales, tobacco companies have resorted to more desperate measures to sell more cigarrettes, including the following campaigns aimed at pregnant women:

 

Ad Campaign #1: Aimed at Conservatives

Announcer: You deserve relaxation and pleasure, but the politically correct elites and big government are out to destroy any fun in your life.

Smoker: Yeah, they tell me what to eat, what to do, what I can and can't drink and all that.

Announcer: And now they want to take away the joy of a good smoke. Just because some Washington elite says so. Big Government is always the problem, not the solution.

Smoker: Yea, big government is the real problem, always interferring. My momma smoked, and I turned out just fine.

Announcer: And Doctors, what do they know?  They think they know it all because of their fancy degrees.

Smoker: Yeah, those fancy white coat doctors don't know nothing. Bunch of latte drinking, volvo driving know it alls trying to tell me what to do.

Announcer: That's why we created American Freedom brand cigarettes. For the patriot in you. Because it's about freedom.

Smoker: It's about Freedom! I'll take twenty boxes.

Ad Campaign #2: Aimed at Liberals

Announcer: We know you're concerned with the earth, that's why we bring to you the ancient medicine of Mother Earth brand herbal remedy. Biodegradable and made according to the ancient wisdom of the indigenous peoples of the Americas.

Smoker: Ooh, it's indigenous, that means not white people. Is it infused with their spiritual wisdom?

Announcer: Yes, the ancient wisdom of the indigenous peoples.

Smoker: They were very spiritual and in tune with mother earth. Not like Western consumer society. Did you say ancient Wisdom?

Announcer: Yes, ancient wisdom. Not like Western medicine. Western medicine is male and patriarchal. They used to make you wear corsets.

Smoker: Yeah, they're all  male and patriarchal. They used to make us wear corsets.

Announcer: Instead try the ancient medicine of the indigenous peoples. Did I mention that it's herbal?

Smoker: Ooh, it's herbal! I'll take twenty boxes.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


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