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God Blog
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 Rapture Schmapture
I don't get the whole rapture thing. Why would I want to take some people for awhile and then the rest later? Or to make the sinners suffer on earth? I believe I was quite clear where sinners suffer - a little place called Hell. People have been seeing what they want to see for some time, but this is really getting out of hand. There seems to be more of these kooks lately. And they all get to live at the end of the world, just like their fathers and grandfathers before them.
Why is it that when people selectively take bible verses they always miss the big ones: Don't kill, steal or lie. Be nice to others, love everyone, take care of the poor etc. Everyone's got so many asteriks I might as well have added two rules "Unless money's involved" or "Unless I really really want to." There've been thousands of end of the world prophecies and no one's been right yet, give it up people. Oh except 2012, those Mayans who didn't believe in me and couldn't see the end of their own civilization coming , yeah, that's a good bet. As a great poet once said, "Shower, death, destruction, pour from the Eastern sands, but the truth of all predictions is always in your hands."
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Siddhartha
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 Dude, did you just quote Iron Maiden? That so reminds me of college, what good times. I'm sure you'll "rapture" all your old dorm mates when the time comes.
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Krishna
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 If you're taking all those racist crackers, I'm not coming. Hey Buddha, remember when you said "We must all learn to quench desire" and he made it rain beer?
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Mohammed
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 That might have been funnier if you hadn't made it rain in my room.
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God
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Hah, just cause you can't drink it doesn't mean you can't wear it. Those were good times, everyone wasn't so hung up on religion as they are nowadays. The whole idea of wanting the end of the world so you can watch others suffer is nasty. Besides, I like the world, who would want it to end? No more beer, South Park or bacon cheeseburgers? I made the Universe, but my children have got up to some cool stuff, like Air Conditioning for one.
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Satan
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 That is one great invention, wish we had it here. It's bad enough listening to a bunch of whiners complaining about clerical errors without sweating half to death. Seems no one read the part where only a few people were actually promised to be chosen by you - the Hebrews. Man there are a lot of pissed off people I've got to deal with each day.
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Joe the Jewish Carpenter
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.jpg) Fine, I'll put off that second coming - again. But can't we do more to alleviate the suffering of our people on earth? The sickness, war and poverty is just atrocious. I don't know what people mean by a time of tribulation, isn't there enough tribulation as it is?
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Republican Jesus
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 Oh will you shut the hell up about the poor and the sick. And the Gays and the Mexicans, blah, blah blah, blah, blah. I wish there was such a thing as a rapture, I'd rescue the deserving Rich and leave those other poor bastards to fry. Heaven will be better if we only let in the right class of people.
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God
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I don't know where you get these crazy ideas. I have sent my annointed one to spread love and compassion throughout the earth. I hope she won't retire too soon.
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Oprah
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 I promise not to quit early, I'm just pursuing other avenues. Let there be peace on earth!
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I Am Who Am
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Age: Seems there was this loud "Bang"...
Marital Status: Married to Mother Nature
Orientation: Your mind couldn't even handle the possibility
Education: Self - taught
Currently Listening to: Justin Bieber
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