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 Fuhrer Blog Minimize
August 10, 1944

Finally, My Biggest Victory Ever!

We did it, we finally got my legalization bill through the Reichstag. Those career politicians have been stonewalling me for 11 years with their old fashioned, outdated prejudices.

It will be nice to drive down the autobahn or just sit around with my buds without worrying the cops are gonna kill that buzz any second. I feel I can really relax now, no worries. Plus I was tired of renewing my "Glaucoma" prescription all the time. I don't even know what glaucoma is.

Now that I've proven I can advance my domestic agenda and am unstoppable, let's see what else is going on. What's been happening with the international situation since I was so busy lately.
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 Joe Cool Minimize
I'm afraid the news on the international front is not as rosy as your awesome domestic achievements. The allies are moving across France so fast I'm not sure they're even stopping for bathroom breaks. The Russians are nearing the Vistula and we're losing U-boats faster than we can make them. Also, despite glowing reports from my friend Tokyo Rose, I am starting suspect the Americans may be advancing in the Pacific.
  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize
The Japanese, hah! Don't they know we only made them honorary Aryans that night at the Sushi bar because of that awesome umami flavored stuff they brought.  Just like the Hungarians, I would have never had them for allies if it wasn't for that wacky stuff they grow around Lake Balaton. You know, the stuff that inspired "Moonlight Sonata". Now that's a piece of music a guy can chill out to. That's it, I'm focused again, we need to get back to basics, pure weed and pure Aryans. Then victory will be ours on ALL fronts.
  

 Hermann the German Minimize
Glad we can start concentrating on foreign policy again. The Allies have been bombing the crap out of us, despite my heroic and unstinting efforts.
  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize
So that's what the pounding in my head was the last few nights. That Douchebag Churchill just won't let a dude chill. I thought I was getting migraines when I already had to hire another doctor just to keep track of my prescriptions.
  

 Sir Winston Minimize
You stoners are pathetic. While you were watching Space Ghost on Netflix we invaded Normandy. We won the battle of the Atlantic while you organized an "Aryan Frisbee Golf-in". You were trying to get Grubhub to deliver Willy Wonka's chocolate river while the P-51 destroyed your air force. Now listen to the sweet music of Harris' bombers while you recover from this binge.
  

 Treue Heinrich Minimize
You are such a buzzkill Churchill. I don't know how you live with yourself, spreading hatred and hurt on others.  On a side note Mein Fuhrer, why do you need so many prescriptions now that we finally got our legalization bill through?
  

 Fuhrer Extreme Minimize
Glaucoma!
  

 Adolf Hitler Minimize
Current Mood: Angry, Tired, Anti-Semitic

Currently listening to: Peter Tosh

Location: My couch, Berlin

Age: 55

Status: In a Relationship

Orientation: Straight, Aryan

Here for: Friends, World Conquest

Schools: Linz Realschule

Graduated: Not my fault, it was the Jews, I swear it was the Jews, I could have been a great artist if it wasn't for them.
  

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