Everyone considered him the coward of the country
He never went to Vietnam though he thought it a just war
His mamma named him Georgie, the folks just called him Dubya
But something always told me he was looking for a war

He spent Vietnam safely hidden in the Air Guard
Life looked after Dubya cause he was his father's son
I still recall the fateful words when daddy lost to Clinton
"Son, my career's over, but yours has just begun

Promise me son not to do the things I've done
Walk away from danger if you can
They can't call you weak if you slaughter men like sheep
I hope you're smart enough to understand
If lots of others die you'll be a man

There's some war for everyone and Dubya's was bin Laden
As commander-in-chief they'd have to treat him like a man
No matter how hard he tried he just couldn't get bin Laden
But he'd bomb other countries ...there was lots of them

Dubya watched the tv and he saw his soldiers dyin'
The cryin' wives, civilian lives, a devastated land
He reached above the fireplace and took down his daddy's picture
As his pride grew on his smiling face, he heard these words again

"Promise me son, not to do the things I've done
Walk away from danger if you can
They can't call you weak, if you slaughter men like sheep
I hope you're smart enough to understand
If lots of others die you'll be a man"

The other leaders laughed at him when he gave up diplomacy
Even his allies said they wouldn't support him no more
When Dubya he gave up they said, "Hey look dumb Dubya's failing"
But you could have heard a bomb drop when Dubya started a new war

Fifty years of failure, was bottled up inside him
He wasn't holding nothing back, he let 'em have it all
When Dubya finished bombing, not a country was left standing
He said, "I've a big penis" as he watched the last bomb fall
And I heard him say

"I promised you dad, not to do the things you done
I walk away from danger when I can
Now please don't think I'm weak, I didn't fight for my country
And papa I have come to understand
When lots of others die you are a man
Everyone considerd him the coward of the country

_________________________
Mark Hoolihan
Department of Failed Diplomacy and Masculinity Enhancements
Michigan State University
_________________________
"Dulce et decorum est pro Patria bibe"
(How sweet and honorable it is to drink for one's country.)
— Motto of Dubya's Texas Air National Guard Unit