Nebraska - In a carefully crafted propaganda piece by the meat industry, Rick Perry and several Republican governors went to a byproduct processing plant and ate a whole lot of ****. Rick Perry himself downed a really big plate of **** and thanked the people who gave it to him, "Thank you corporate masters for giving me this load of ****. I will eat it and be thankful and never criticize a large corporation ever. Mmmm."
The move was in response to controversy surrounding the industry practice of taking the ****, treating it with hazardous chemicals and marketing it as "Finely Moistened BeefTM " Rick Perry explained, "This is the fault of the liberal media for calling this ****. If every media outlet and American obediently called it Finely Moistened BeefTM like they were told to, we wouldn't have to be here. I promise in my America no one will question large corporations over whatever they want to shove down our throats."
The other Republican governors agreed, while forcing down large mouthfuls of ****. The meat industry for it's part, has promised to keep on producing as much **** as people are willing to swallow, in restaurants, their homes and schools.
Democrats responded by proposing two food supply systems, one for Republicans and one for Democrats. Said one Administration spokesman, "If Republicans are going to demand their kids be given ****, why not one food system for them where the companies can put as much **** and chemicals in it as they want, and one for Democrats which will contain real meat. There's only so much **** we're willing to take."
Open Wide America, This ****'s for you!
Sincerely, Your Corporate Masters