Washington - The reported death of Osama bin Laden has raised a great deal of controversy from the far Right. For the first time, many seem willing to consider outlandish conspiracy theories about the President. The so called "Deather" movement claims that Osama bin Laden is in fact not dead. "Deathers" focus on the failure of the President to release bin Laden's long form death certificate.
"Deather" spokesman Owta Meimeind commented, "Where's the certificate? I'll believe it when I see it. Obviously there's really good evidence to doubt this so-called death and no good reason to believe it. Isn't it a little suspicious that someone who is President and is running for President 'suddenly' captures bin Laden. That's very suspicious, it's like he just ordered all our forces to make it their number one priority to catch our greatest enemy. I've never seen that in a President before."
Donald Trump has promptly dispatched a research team and announced, "The things they've found will blow you away. I can't say what things, but just watch 'The Apprentice.'" The government of Pakistan also refused to believe bin Laden was dead, stating, "We have no idea where he is, but he's certainly not in our country, much less at 5436 Bhutto Lane in that tan Three story with the red roof."
In response the US government released details of the plan, photos of the compound, and the complete DNA sequence of bin Laden. In reply the Deather movement said, "All we want is some proof, why won't our dark skinned Muslim President come clean? Why does he keep hiding the truth. Why do people keep calling us racist?"
Courtesy Mark Hoolihan and the Hoolinet (www.hoolinet.com)
Copyright 2011 Boniface Bugle Productions. All Rights Absurd.
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